Eat Me
by Nekoni
Summary: IT EASTER! Vegeta discovers the candy-full meaning of Easter- buuuut... not without some problems... (completed)
1. Easter?

Disclaimer: OK, I don't own DragonBallZ, but I DO own Easter! HA! I INVENTED IT! YOU HEAR ME! *gets taken off by people in white coats*  
  
  
  
~~Eat Me~~  
  
"Baka-onna… look after the brat… HN! Stupid woman's habbit"  
  
Vegeta sat unoccupied in the nursery. It was rather irritating, waiting for the onna to get back from shopping- which seemed to be just an excuse for making him baby-sit.  
  
Vegeta grumbled slightly as the baby-stirred. He had been sitting still the entire time Bulma had been out trying not to wake the kid- and he didn't plan on IT waking up now. His son tumbled round in its crib- 1 and a half years old Trunks opened his eyes.  
  
"WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" he wailed, pulling on his short lavender bangs as his stomach demanded, loudly, some nourishment. Vegeta jumped up and ran without haste to his son, looking at him with a puzzled expression as his wailing stopped and he giggled, waving his little arms around in the air innocently.  
  
"Go-ku!" He pronounced,  
  
Vegeta frowned "No, Kakarotto, KA- KA-"  
  
"Hey Vegeta!" The Prince of the saiyans spun round quickly to see an idioticly grinning face mere inches from his- he jumped back in fright and landed rear-side-down on the floor.  
  
"Kakarotto!" He growled, as Goku picked up the laughing bundle from the crib. Trunks waved his innocent arms round, before pulling on Goku's face.  
  
"Ay- that's quite a grip you've got there!" he somehow pronounced, even though his face was rather stretched. The saiyan set the toddler on the floor, where he stumbled slightly before dashing over to the bed.  
  
"Hey Vegeta! Hows it going?" Goku asked, smiling widely at the prince.  
  
"Hn. Fine! What the hell are you doing here Kakarotto!" Vegeta screeched, jumping back to his feet and glaring at the younger man.  
  
"Well- I felt your ki' spike, so I thought you were maybe panicking about an enemy or somethin'" Goku shrugged "Seems you were just panicky over Trunks. How's Bulma these days?"  
  
"Hn, fine" Vegeta grunted, irritated by the drawling on and on "She's went shopping- said she was getting something special. I dread to think…"  
  
"She's probably just getting some Easter-eggs" Goku guessed, turning to look at little Trunks who had just managed to climb on the springy bed. "ChiChi won't let me have any Easter-eggs, she says they'll make me fat- I doubt it… I want them anyway"  
  
"Hn. Don't get an ego over such preposterous ideas" Vegeta stated- then pulled up a slightly puzzled expression onto his sharp features. "What is an- 'Easter-egg?'" The prince questioned, looking at the other warrior for an answer.  
  
Goku blinked in surprise "You've never heard of Easter? It's a wonderful time of year! About chicks and bunnies and eggs and nice things-"  
  
"Sounds disgusting if you ask me"  
  
Goku shrugged "I donno', but it IS yummy! They make things like chocolate rabbits and chickens and eggs- YUM! It's meant to have a deeper meaning but if you look carefully at the exploitations of the general public in shops most people's opinions point away from the resurrection of the messiah."  
  
Vegeta looked shocked at the fact Goku actually said something intelligent- maybe his brain fixed…  
  
"Kakarotto?"  
  
"Hi Ho 'Geeeeeeeeta!" A goofy grin spread across the other saiyans face.  
  
"Never mind- So, when is Easter?"  
  
"Nnnn…. Um- day after tomorrow!" At this the Prince face-faulted.  
  
"Kakarotto"  
  
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah?"  
  
"Go home."  
  
"Kay Geta-chan!" The other saiyan laughed, putting to fingers to his head and crossing his eyes some-what goofily in concentration. He fizzed out of sight- but lord knows he was going to end-up somewhere like the arctic if THAT was concentration.  
  
The prince of the saiyans turned round just in time to see young trunks drawing all over the walls, while bouncing on that springy bed. (My baby brother does that- it is SO ANNOYING!- especially when you're on the phone!) 


	2. AH! EVIL IN ITS TRUEST FORM!

Morning came, Vegeta had finally recovered from the wailing of Bulma after the little- 'incident' -and was now curious to the these Easter-eggs. They sounded better then anything Bulma would usually give him, and so he showered, dressed and headed downstairs to venture into the kitchen-  
  
OK- so venturing into the kitchen wasn't that dangerous, but one can tease, right?  
  
Vegeta looked cautiously round. His stomach growled loudly as Mrs. Briefs walked in, eyes turned up in a constant cheer- it was almost as if they were sown shut. She smiled sympathetically and patted the prince on his arm.  
  
"I'll get you something to eat dear!" She chimed, pulling a carton of eggs from the fridge and grabbing a large bowl. Vegeta narrowed his eyes slightly at his almost-mother-in-law, and turned round, his eyes roaming over the shining side-boards and on-tops off cupboards, when he was desperate he finally resorted to looking under chairs. No source of them yet- he looked behind himself to see the onna whisking a gooey mixture in a bowl and chopping up pre-cooked meats and vegetables and cheeses. -She didn't seem to notice his observation of the room so it was a clear sign to continue.  
  
The short in stature saiyan lifted himself slightly, pulling open two cupboard doors simultaneously… Easter-eggs- now where would they be? He frowned. Not in the cupboards- that was for sure. He thought some more- eggs- fridge- it made sense. Surely there would be eggs in the fridge, even the magical chocolate Easter-eggs. The prince allowed himself to drift to the ground ignoring the hissing or a frying-pan in the background. He opened the fridge door- Easter-eggs… He saw all kinds of meat… Vegtables- some REALLY large poultry and milk and cheese- no Easter eggs… hn. He stood there puzzled for a moment longer before he heard a muffled voice.  
  
"Dad- I'm going to move the Easter-eggs… I'm not sure you should leave them of the windowsill when it's sunny"  
  
AHAH! They were on the windowsill in the direction of the voice- he couldn't wait to try the chocolatey goodness! How could chickens lay chocolate eggs? He walked quickly to the door.  
  
Mrs. Briefs chose that time to latch onto his arm- in her hand a super- large stack of Spanish omelette.  
  
Well, he guessed it could wait!  
  
-----  
  
He was stupid… absolutely STUPID! The rest of his day had been spent searching for the morsel Easter-egg and WHAT does he find out? IT'S on-top of the television- and HE can't eat it yet.-  
  
-Oh but the allusive shiny wrapper and the brand chocolate name on the front- it just screamed 'eat me!'  
  
"Eat me!" The voice was high-pitched, yet somewhat scratchy-  
  
"Huh?" The prince of the saiyans looked up, bewildered, he didn't recognise that voice or see where it came from…  
  
"Eat me!" There is was again- that little squeak.  
  
"Who's there!?" The saiyan demanded  
  
"Eaaaaaaaattttt meeeeeeeeee!!!!" The voice droned, leaving the saiyan with a confused expression on his face, he looked around the room, no-body was there- he didn't sense anyone's ki in the room either.  
  
"Is this some kind of sick joke?" The prince demanded, frowning, yet still remained seated on the sofa.  
  
"Nooooooooooo- No joke- No sick- just delicious- eeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaattttttt -"  
  
"I heard you the first time!" The prince cut off, looking extremely irritated. "Now… WHO are you!?"  
  
"I am the eggggggggggggg of Eaaaaaaaaaaster!" The voice replied, obviously trying to sound creepy, Vegeta looked up directly to where the voice was coming from. The Easter-egg that sat atop the television set was speaking to him- creepy moving eyes and a mouth appearing on it's face, it- though, had no nose.  
  
"Eaaaaaaaaaatttt meeeeeeeeeee!" It demanded, looking directly at Vegeta.  
  
"No! Shut-up baka!"  
  
"Eaaaaaaaaaattttt meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" it wined, droning on with it's repeated request.  
  
"I said NO!" Vegeta shouted.  
  
"Vegeta- if everything OK in there?" Bulma asked, looking in through the door to see the saiyan set on the couch.  
  
"NO!" The prince roared "The Easter-eggs telling me to eat it!"  
  
Bulma cast her eyes to the decorated Easter-egg, sitting on-top of the television- she laughed and waved her hand in the air "Oh you're so silly Vegeta!" She giggled, exiting the room.  
  
"Yes, he is!" The high pitched squeaky voice agreed.  
  
"Hn? Pardon?" Bulma asked, leaning back in and looking expectantly at Vegeta.  
  
"Don't look at me, and didn't say anything." He spat, standing and leaving the room via the stairs- leading to his bedroom. He was tired. He needed rest- he walked into his bedroom.  
  
"Eatttttttttt meeeeeeeeee!" The egg droned, wobbling a bit on his bedroom cabinet.  
  
"How the hell did you get in here!?" The prince cried, insanely looking at the taste-tantalising-treat that was unfortunately more annoying than Kakarotto.  
  
"Eaaaaaaaaaaaaat meeeeeeeeeeeeee!" The strange creature replied, rocking from side to side.  
  
Vegeta just ignored it, and climbed into his pyjamas and into bed.  
  
"Rock a by baby, on the tree top…" BEHOLD the wrath of an Easter-egg- Furby from hell…  
  
"When the wind blows Prince Veggie'll rock…" Vegeta growled quietly as the signing continued- he HAD to make it SHUT UP.  
  
"When the bow breaks, baby 'Geta'll fall…" Or kill it… that was a good option too…  
  
"And down will fall VEGGIE- DIAPERS and all!"  
  
Vegeta blasted the cursed thing. It disappeared- as if it was never there in the first place,  
  
  
  
THE END.  
  
  
  
(pssssssst! There's more!) 


	3. Super-crud ending

"It's a wonderful morning this-MORNING!"  
  
"It's a wonderful morning toDAY!"  
  
Vegeta shot straight up in bed- NO- this HAD to be a nightmare.  
  
"Good morning sunshine!" The egg cheered "How about a nice morning snack- Easter egg a l'omlette!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"  
  
Vegeta ran downstairs in- shock, panic and FURY! He dashed into the kitchen and grabbed a chair. He sat in it and groaned. The next thing that came NEAR him was going to break.  
  
"Hi 'Geta!"  
  
"KAKAROTTO!" Vegeta screamed, lunging across the table and tackling the saiyan who had been at his house for whatever reason. He pummelled his fists into the younger saiyan's face in his blind fury- that WAS until he was hit over the head by- o dear… CHICHI'S frying pan, possibly made of the hardest metal in the universe.  
  
"Ai!" He jumped up off the other saiyan, holding his head, eyes watering slightly at the sudden pain. ChiChi glared at him.  
  
"Keep your dirty mitts AWAY from hitting my husband, or else.." Oh metal against flesh, what a lovely and SCARY sound that is, death for husbands, and music to house-wives.  
  
Vegeta nodded mutely, scarred out of his original reason for being so, and he completely forgot about the little monster until half-way through his first-meal of the day.  
  
"What you lookin' AT!"  
  
*stupid music began to play*, the high-pitched voice of doom… no…not here- not now!  
  
"Strike a pose! Strike a pose!" The crazy egg sat in the middle of the table, shaking it's little egg shaped touché around in it's packaging  
  
"Yeah baby! EAT ME! FOR I AM EGG!"  
  
Goku laughed "Man, I love animatronics! -and this one was so cheap! Only $2.99!"  
  
Vegeta froze- what kind of sick fool would do such a thing- Kakarotto- obviously. *he pondered* Sure, killing him was a GREAT IDEA!  
  
Before the prince could throw the first punch though, all the animated eggs round the house cried out simultaneously "EASTER TIIIIIME! EGGY-EGGS AND RHYME! EATING TIME IS NOOW!" - little eggs rushed out from inside. Vegeta gaped. He hated Easter-  
  
But after a taste, he took it back  
  
He LOVED Easter!  
  
-AND SO DO WE ALL!-  
  
THE END  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*well that was a corny ending, wasn't it? Eh, it's the best you'll get out of me on short notice *smiles widely*  
  
Please review! Even if it wasn't that good- I saw no Easter-parodies, and it just SCREAMED 'WRITE ME!'  
  
Easter parody: WRITE ME!  
  
Nekoni: Eekk… Gotta' go! Ja ne! and -HAPPY EASTER!- 


End file.
